I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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