Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
