I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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