The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
