Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When are your genitals available?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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