Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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