my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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