butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I puked a lego.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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