I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
