WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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