Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize