u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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