I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
