Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
