he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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