K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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