i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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