FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize