No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
