Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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