You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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