you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i now understand why vodka
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
