i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
