And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
