I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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