I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
