so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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