Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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