At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
