It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They are going to name an STD after you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
