is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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