Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
