Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
