The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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