I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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