Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
