Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
