Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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