I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
