I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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