dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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