On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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