Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
