No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
