do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
