he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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