Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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