If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
