The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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