Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
