Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
