Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How does it feel to date your dad?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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