It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
