I'm really into asian looking animals
They should really pass out barf bags in church
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize