Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
