You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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