he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
