1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Enjoy the penises
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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