She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
