okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize