omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
