so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
