you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
