There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
