i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
