Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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