Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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