Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
