so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize