People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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