in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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